Growing old, growing responsibilities but life must go on

Well mum happen to say the girl who used to be tiny as my little brother is now all grown up and she can’t believe time has travelled this far…it shook me for a while..I know she couldn’t express her feelings how she feels growing old raising three children…I m 18 now ..age when u are in a chaos state of wanting to go back to old school days with no pressure of deadlines and choosing right colleges getting good results..time to take a step for your upcoming future….I will say a shit stage of mine everyday motivating myself to focus on academics and bringing the energy of old sisheka back but somehow I lacked that determination eagerly wanting only to have a life of a rich brat being care free of everything but ain’t that coward to run away from the problems so it’s just a back up idea I have (laughs)  coming to realization time is traveling ….I have a brother and a sister to look after in future…holding the eldest responsibilities as a daughter in my family I don’t take it as a burden rather it’s like a crown that Miss Nepal holds for me..it teaches me to work harder and scares me sometimes what kind of person will my siblings be though being the most stubborn and rude person in my family…..

I have noticed the hands that used to be moisture and hard now have lines of wrinkles on them and became softer like my grandmother hands….I came to know my dad is aging day by day always having sleepless night thinking about our tuition fees and desires then rushing before the sun comes out. He only works hard for us and our well being. Yes, we complain he don’t give us time but time is playing games with him I would say. I always have fear of losing him who is nearest and dearest to my heart. When he wakes up late sometimes which I feel unusual I always knock at his door to make sure he is still there and at night  go by his door to hear that he is breathing without being any harm.

My lil brother who is 2 now reflects me of my sister’s past …he resembles her childhood for me…it has been a wonderful experience to see them growing till I will die…..I would say more than my children in future they would be dearer to me…..I don’t know what future holds as I have fear of dying and have some thoughts of earth collapsing …….I pray everyone will be safe and have a life cycle till they grew older …

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