The Girl with Glasses

I remember it as if it was yesterday and I don’t think that I’ll ever forget that day for the rest of my life. Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn’t until the day that I first saw her. It was the first day of school; a new semester. Everything was the same nothing new was happening. Class started and just as the teacher was about to introduce herself the door slowly opened and there she was. A typical girl with ponytails and glasses on. There was nothing out of the ordinary about her but I don’t know why the moment that I laid my eyes on her, it was like as if a bomb had gone off in my mind. I was just staring at her like an idiot. I knew that I had to talk to this girl. When the bell for the break rang, all the girls started to swarm around her like a bunch of bees, all eager to know about the new girl in class. Seeing that I was too scared to go up and talk to her. But I thought to myself that we’re in the same class and  we’ll eventually talk sooner or later. And this went on for weeks and in this period of time I was just observing her like a creep. Fastforward to 3 weeks when our class teacher decided to change out seats. All the boys were arranged with a girl as their desk partners. And guess who my desk partner was? That’s right. It was her. The girl with the glasses. When she sat next to me, I was like is this really happening to me? Did the gods do me a favour? Anyway she sat next to me started asking questions about what my name was, what my hobbies were…..etc etc. After that everything changed. The more I got to know her the more I fell in love with her. She was funny, irritating, friendly, caring, annoying all at the same time. We also used to fight a lot but soon made up with each other.We used to share all our secrets with each other and became the best of friends.This went on for a whole year and I still could not build up the courage to tell her how I feel and what she meant to me. The year ended and coincidently she also ended up in the same class that I was in. We still talked with each other and were on good terms with other. And all this while I was still suppressing and bottling up all the feelings and emotions that I had. Another year passed and we still ended up in the same class. Till now I still had not told her how I felt. We still talked with each other but we were gradually becoming more distant with each other. This was also the year that she totally changed. She was no longer the cute little girl with glasses that I used to know. She stopped wearing her glasses kept her hair long and got along with the bad girls of our school. But even though I still could not stop loving her. I was in a dilema about what I should do. I was still thinking about how to deal with my feelings when one day a certain thing happened which turned my whole world upside down. She proposed to a close friend of mine that I had known for years. I was absolutely heartbroken. I cried the whole night desperately trying to convince myself that this was not happening. But reality’s a bitch. It was true. And it was all happening right in front of my eyes. I totally changed after that day. I didn’t talk much with my friends, didn’t do my home works, didn’t smile, didn’t eat much, didn’t do a thing at all. It took me a good two months for my mood to get slightly better. I gradually started to move on and stopped thinking about her. Like this another year passed as well. By this time I had totally stopped talking to her. The year was going good and everything was normal. When suddenly an event occurred which totally blew my mind……she proposed to me. That’s right she told me that she loved me and she always had. I was absolutely shocked. I couldnt believe that she was actually saying those words to me. I didn’t trust what she was telling me and asked her didn’t she love someone else? She told me that that was not true and she was just trying to make me jealous. I didn’t believe a word she said and told her to fuck off. But she was like a ghost following me where ever I went. She kept pestering me along with her friends trying to convince me that she really loved me. But I rejected her every single time. Just like that another year started. For the first few weeks I felt it odd that she didn’t  come to mess with me. Only after asking around did I find out that she had left the school and gone abroad. Hearing that I suddenly felt a sense of loss. Like I had lost something really important to me. Only after a few months did I realize that I still loved her. But by then it was all too late. It was too late for regrets. I still remembered her every single day for a few years after that. There wasn’t a single day that I  didn’t think about her. Thinking back to those years I still blame myself for being a coward and not telling her how I felt and I think what would have happened if I had. But now all I have are the memories of the time that we spent together and the way she used to fix her glasses when she was shy.By my personal experience I want to give you guys some advice. “If there’s anyone that you truly love someone from the bottom of your heart, don’t ever make the mistake of just keeping those feelings with yourself and not expressing them. Just tell them how you feel no matter if they accept or reject you. At least you’ve been honest with yourself and taken a burden off your chest.”

girl_with_glasses_lineart_by_salamandershadow-d8v3c1x

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